A.M

I promised myself six months ago that I will never lie again.

1. Of lies

let’s play a game called
truth or lies,
I will say two statements
and you will determine
which statement is true
and which one is made
up

you ready?

1st:

I’ve never tasted-loved-had a boyfriend.

2nd:

my first (ex)boyfriend and I
went to second base at a
friend’s despedida party.
He told me I was
delicious,
but I was disgusted
with myself as I
smiled in between
his caresses
(this is not you)

2. Of fear

I am afraid
that one day,
people won’t
need me
anymore.

3. Of truth

It is painful to remember
her 17th birthday.
A day before that
her aunt Bing died.
She didn’t had an
ounce of remorse
in her body.
She didn’t care.

4. Of forgetting

He cannot remember a
time he called her
daughters to ask if
they are still alive.

5. Of promises

That day as she was
leaving palma hall,
she left her heart on
the stairs, shattered
with the grief of
rejection,
she hurried to cross
the road and reach her
stolen car when a
jeepney was speeding
and almost ran her down,
she can never cross a
road again.

She promised herself that
the moment she can
cross the road,
is the moment he
has finally left her
soul in peace.

She can cross roads
again.
six months have passed, and the
only lie she has ever said was
she wanted to die.